#18 / b.c. is for before children
Part of an ongoing series on the "why" behind The Summer Camp Project. Full story here → Our Story
After the Wallish Family Reunion, only a few weeks of summer remained before school started.
Our living arrangement was only supposed to be a temporary patch—a way to give my biological mom time to gather up funds, get back on her feet, and set up a permanent home for us.
Instead, those funds went toward her boyfriend’s bail.
This is the decision I’ve gone back and forth on many times over the years. Even now, I’m not sure I fully understand it. Yet I don’t blame her for making that her priority over us. All of those challenges were blessings in disguise. She had her own needs, and the longing to love and be loved is even more primal than Maslow’s hierarchy. She made choices out of her own sense of necessity and survival. The science backs up what I've had to learn through grace: the brain's decision-making center isn't fully formed until our mid-20s. She was doing what she could with what she had.
Out of a deep desire to establish stability, and an inability to imagine life without us together, Brian and Tammy sat down with us kids about permanency.
We had a direct say in the decision. Together, we all chose to make it official that August: to become a single unit, to seal The Miner Clan in place.
With the help of a notary at church, the kids, Brian and Tammy, and my biological mom gathered to sign the papers. My biological mom relinquished her parental rights.
Brian and Tammy coined the acronym “B.C.” for Before Children—markings for the before and after of their lives, but also the dividing line between two completely different stories in our own legal guardianship.
When I look back on old photos of Brian and Tammy from B.C., they look so relaxed, carefree, and deeply in love. Because they established that strong foundation before we entered the picture, it held firm when everything shifted.
That was 25 years ago.
Hue’s Field Notes:
The Pivot: Survival Choices vs. Chosen Stability
Navigating childhood trauma and parental instability requires developing deep empathy for the adults who couldn't give us what we needed. When adults make choices out of survival or unhealed needs, children bear the weight. But true healing begins when we step across the threshold into intentional, chosen stability—moving from surviving someone else's chaos to anchoring in permanent safety.
The Link: Translating Childhood Memories into Institutional Purpose
Every child deserves a definitive "before and after" line where uncertainty ends and total belonging begins. The core philosophy of The Summer Camp Project is rooted in creating secure, steady foundations where young people are given a voice in their own lives. We build spaces where kids don't have to worry about adult choices, allowing them to anchor in safety, dignity, and true agency over their futures.
The Call to Action
This is why we advocate so fiercely for youth to have spaces of uninterrupted growth and security. We aren't just sending kids to camp; we are providing them with anchor points of safety and belonging that can reshape the entire trajectory of their lives. Join us in expanding access so every child gets to experience the life-changing power of a secure environment.